I'm So Joyful I Could Rip My Own Hair Out!

 ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
James 1:2-3

Today was a Trial.  I write that with a capital T. A capital T Trial.  Yep, that's what it was.

Not of the same sort that I've been going through with my relationship.  But, another kind, regarding work and I was completely blindsided again.

I know my job.  I am good at my job.  I have increased sales at my job over $2000 per month since I have worked there. I have broken records, been complimented by 99% of the customers who come there and gained back old customers who had not shopped there because of one reason or other for years.

I've also been written up more times than I ever have in my entire working history since I have worked there.  Actually, in the last four months. Ever since we got a new Executive Director.

Today I recieved my Final Written Notice.  Joy, Joy, JOY! 
It was only God Himself who sealed my mouth shut as I was informed of all the ways I was inadequate.  Of all the ways in which I did everything wrong. Even when I was told to do these things by the ED herself and I did them, it was wrong. Things I had worked very hard on and accomplished great results with... I was wrong.  Even things that I had nothing to do with... they were my fault too.  Even someone else's laziness and ineptness.. yep, you guessed it... my fault. 

They have given me until Feb. 1st to 'shape up' or I will be forced to go part time.  Little do they know, I have no babysitter now and need to go part time immediately.  I just was too stunned today to tell them.

The things I wanted to say to that woman.  I wanted to just walk out.  But, I was held firmly in my place and silent.  I did manage to say two things.  "I understand" and "I made the mistake of letting someone work upstairs and didn't go inspect when they said they had done what they were supposed to do.  I take full responsability." 

I saved that person's ass.  But, mine is in a sling.  I'm so Joyful! JOY-FULL !!!

Now, please understand that I am not exactly being sarcastic.  Exactly.  God and I had a very long venting session today as I was given the day to clean up 'my mess' with the store closed down.  Mainly I was venting and He was soothing. 

And God.. He understands my sarcasm.  HE Himself has used it on occasion.  I was just reading about Moses leading everyone out of Egypt and how God sent them food every day.  They got sick of eating only one type of food and started whining for meat.  And what did God do? He said "You want MEAT? I'll give you MEAT! You'll be so sick of MEAT it'll be coming out your EYEBALLS!  You will never want MEAT again when I'm through with you!" And He sent them so many pheasants they could practically swim through them! And made them eat them. ROFL! I LOVE GOD!

ANYWAY, God kept bringing things to mind, as He always does if we listen hard enough.  First off, He is re-arranging my life. What made me think that wouldn't involve my working situation.  Because 1) He is teaching me to rely on and trust Him. I know that.  and 2) I have been praying for Him to open up a way for me to stay home with my children but still manage financially.

Okay.... so maybe He has a plan here after all.  Because I know I did not deserve that write-up or any of the other ones I have received in the last four months.  Before they just made me angry.  This one did too, but it also made me think.

And then the Joy started to come.  And the Joy of the Lord is my Strength.  So, I did not lose it.  I just spent the day deep cleaning the store and talking/venting/listening to the Lord.  And even though I have been hit very hard this week, I still have peace. 

Could it be that I am growing in faith and perseverence? Yes, I am. Because I know the old me would have totally freaked out. Been wounded much more than I am at the moment and possibly plunged into depression.

As I look back on this morning, I remember God whispering in my spirit while the ED was reaming me out, "Why are you so surprised?  I told you that trials would come.  You KNOW that this is a war.  You KNOW that the devil wants you. Did you think he would give up without a fight? Did you think he would not use everyone he has at his disposal? Lean on Me and WE will work this out for your good."

Okee-Dokie, God.  You got it.

What types of trials are you going through right now that you need to look at a little differently in order to count them all joy?

 

Begining Again

I get the SF Daily Devotional in my email box every day. Today's was about new beginnings, which, given my present circumstances, is perfect for me. You can read it HERE.

The Scripture Of The Day is "Behold I do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” - Isaiah 43:19

Sharon Frame wrote today's devotional and she asks a thought provoking question:

What is it that you insist on holding on to that God has instructed you to let go? Is it a destructive relationship? a bad habit? No amount of prayer or fasting will make it good. God says release it. It stands in the way of your new beginning

For me, this has been my relationship with a man with whom I was unequally yoked. 

For the entire almost two year relationship, it has been rocky.  There were many, many signs that he was not honest and made a habit of deceiving me.  I always forgave him and kept hoping and expecting him to change. As time went on, I realised that we had completely opposite outlooks on life, God, activities, etc.  And yet, we still stayed together.

Did we love each other?  I guess he does in his own way, but it was not the way I should be loved.  It was in a worldly way, the way an unbeliever loves someone.  A selfish way.  Do I love him?  I guess, yes I do, still.  I have always been one to see the potential in someone and focus on their good qualities.  However, that has also often made me blind to their real qualities.  I just chose to push them to the side and not dwell on them too much unless they get right up in my face and something is done that hurts me. Even then, I would choose to forgive again and try to push the incident to the back of my mind.

I think God knew that no matter how many times He showed me that I needed to be out of that relationship and that it was hindering His work in my life, I was not going to take the initiative to do anything about it.  I was going to stubbornly put it all on God and say that if HE wanted to change this man, HE would do it and the whole problem would be solved.

Well, God decided to do something all right.  He has removed this man from my life.  Ultimately it was my decision, but He led me to some discoveries that have hurt me beyond words can say and crossed the line on my forgiveness ability.  Not to say I won't forgive this man, but it will be from afar, where he is not in my life anymore.  God made it so there was no way I would ever go back to the life I was living with him and made me see the truth of my illusion.

Though I feel heart-broken, betrayed and a million other emotions, I also feel a sense of freedom and peace.  For one, the removal of this man from my life has taken away my sin with this man.  We were living in sin.  We were having premarital sex. Oh, and did I mention that he was not yet divorced, only separated for the last 2 & 1/2 years?  That's a lot of sinning going on.  Even while we were still together, these things weighed heavily on my mind and my spirit.  And many times God told me that I was tying His Hands when it came to working in my life.

My relationship with I Am was severely hindered in the fact that I could not openly express it with this person around because he didn't understand it and looked down on it.  I didn't listen to Christian music or broadcasts with him around.  I neglected going to church because he didn't want to go with me. I didn't spend time with Christian friends because he wouldn't feel comfortable with them.

Now I am free to do all that with no feelings of misplaced guilt!  Before I felt guilty both ways ... for wanting to do them when he didn't and for not doing them because of him. 

God has shown me that even though I had practically demanded that He change the man, what He had to do was remove the man to change ME.  Not exactly what I had in mind, but He knows the plans He has for me and they are to give me a future and a hope.  There was definitely no future or hope for the relationship I was in.

By going along with God's plans in this situation I am releasing Him to create for me a new beginning.  And that is what I so desperately needed all along!

What are YOU holding on to that God has instructed you to let go of??

I Am A Child Of God!

 

• I am a child of God.

But to all who have received him--those who believe in his name--he has given the right to become God's children … (John 1:12).

Wow. Have you ever actually sat and thought about that for just a second? Especially if you are a parent. I'm speaking to those of us who have already accepted the invitation to become God's Child. 

It's like this...  Imagine your own child. Your only child. Your perfect in every way child. You send him out to his first day of kindergarten and everyone is MEAN to him. But, he loves them anyway. He does everything he possibly can to make them like him back. But only a dozen or so really appreciate the qualities of this wonderful child of yours. Of course you LOVE those kids. They are welcome into your home, you feed them milk and cookies, you rent them the latest Disney video to watch on sleep-overs.  THEY are the ones you adore.

Now, years go by... your child is still an outsider. But, yet he still loves everyone and continues to do everything he can to help even the ones who ridicule him.  Sometimes he cries. Sometimes he loses his temper, but only rarely.  He prays for the ones who hurt him.

You watch his struggles but there is nothing you can do.  You cant MAKE people love this child that you adore. But, oh, how you wish you could.

One day, your child goes out hiking in the mountains with his friends. The ones he has had since childhood. And while there, the local gang members find him. They drag him away and torture him. Witnesses say that he never even fought back. He prayed for their forgiveness as he died.

Your precious child, the one you love, is gone.

The gang members are never caught, never charged for their crime. But, one by one, they come to you and apologize. They tell you they have seen the error of their ways and want you to forgive them.

Could you do that? Could you welcome into your home and family and give them the RIGHT to become your OWN CHILD? Could you LOVE them with as much love as you had the one that they put to death?

That's what God does for US!  No, we weren't there on the day that Jesus was crucified. But he still paid the price for our sins, didn't He? He did DIE for us, didn't He? And as Jesus' parent, GOD the Father offers US the right to become His Children!

I know my metaphor is not the best, but think about it.  We are now God's Children. I am His Daughter. He said so and He cannot lie! He is TRUTH.

How undeserving are we to be called the Children of God.  How Praiseworthy is HE to give us that right.

Father, I know that I am a sinner.  Even though I believe in You and love You, I still sin and fall short of the glory. I thank You for adopting me into Your family of believers and loving me with a love that surpasses all understanding. I thank You for the forgiveness of my sins and the strength to carry on when I still stumble. Please help me to show the same love and forgiveness to those who sin against me as You have shown to me. I praise Your Holy Name and thank You for hearing my every prayer.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

When you think about being a Child Of God, how does that make you feel?

Project 2: Prayers for Our Husband

I admit that I do not pray for JT as I should.  This has been weighing on my mind for the last few days and low and behold it is the second project for Fixing Your Heart On Titus 2.

In fact, during my shower last night, I was led to pray for him and his salvation.

Earlier, watching a live broadcast of an online church, I was reminded of what our unsaved loved ones will be subject to at the time of their physical death.   SCARY.

It all ties into this second week's project.

I'm all over it.

• Monday: His Work
• Tuesday: His Integrity
• Wednesday: His Mind
• Thursday: His Purpose
• Friday: His Health
• Saturday: His Protection
• Sunday: His Faith

Fixing Your Heart On Titus 2: Project 1 - Daily Bible Reading and Prayer

As part of my New Year's Goals, I am working hard at finding making more time to spend in The Word.  I also need to spend more time in prayer.  I don't know why I am finding it so hard to even get my thoughts organised to form a prayer. 

So, this week's project for Fixing Your Heart On Titus 2 is perfect for me.

How To Pray

Found this article in my email box this morning....

Sometimes, I get caught up in my 'To Do List For God' too....

Thought you might enjoy it.

It's Your Move, Love God.

Last night, my daughter Beth called me outside to see the 'tic tac toe board' in the sky.

Looking at it, a blank tic tac toe board of clouds, put into mind a lesson I thought I would blog here.

God works in our life in amazing ways. However, sometimes we have to 'go first' with an action or proclamation of faith before he does. Looking at these clouds was like God telling me, "It's your move, Carrie".

Asking for & believing in Faith, claiming and speaking God's promises for our lives is essential to His working miracles.

How many times do we ask for certain things and then leave our 'prayer closet' with the same defeated attitude that we entered it? We ask, unbelieving, and we are not surprised when we don't see any results. But, then we say that we did everything we were supposed to in order to get our prayers answered. Guess we were just meant to be poor, unhappy, stressed, bummed-out and miserable, right? NOT!

God says, that if we ask, believing, we will recieve.

"Therefore I say to you, [Matt 7:7] all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you."

That's our move.... the believing part. However, we must also ask with the right motives:

[Job 22:26; Matt 7:7; 21:22; John 9:31] whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we [1 John 2:3] keep His commandments and do [John 8:29; Heb 13:21] the things that are pleasing in His sight.

&

You ask and [1 John 3:22; 5:14] do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

 Our move may involve several different things... confession, repentance, faith, an action that puts us out of our comfort zone... It all depends on our situation and our personal relationship with God.

But, without faith, thanksgiving and right motives, we might as well be praying to a wall.

The more 'moves' we make towards God, the more moves He will make in our lives. A personal relationship with God is just like any other relationship. It takes two. Both parties must be actively involved to make it successful. We can't just sit back and think God is just going to do a bunch of amazing, wonderful things in our lives when we are doing nothing to help our own situation or show God that we are actively participating with Him, even if it just in constant prayer and thanksgiving when there is nothing physical we can do.

Do you want a closer walk with God? Ask Him for it, Thank Him for it, then Anticipate it and Do Your Part! Get in His Word, pray, worship, go to church...

Do you want to be blessed financially? Pray about it, Ask Him for it, Thank Him for it, Aticipate it and Do Your Part! Search your heart and be sure your motives are correct. Tithe what you are blessed with now, Ask Him to show you how to manage your financial blessing..

Are you getting it?

All things are to be done to the glory of God. Make sure your motives are right.

And remember that God does want your joy to be complete. He loves us and wants us to be happy. It gives Him pleasure to answer our prayers. Just as we love to give gifts to our children.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, [Ps 84:11; Is 63:7; Rom 8:32; James 1:17] how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

Are you waiting for a prayer to be answered right now? Do you have something that you need?
Make your move!