2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
James 1:2-3
Today was a Trial. I write that with a capital T. A capital T Trial. Yep, that's what it was.
Not of the same sort that I've been going through with my relationship. But, another kind, regarding work and I was completely blindsided again.
I know my job. I am good at my job. I have increased sales at my job over $2000 per month since I have worked there. I have broken records, been complimented by 99% of the customers who come there and gained back old customers who had not shopped there because of one reason or other for years.
I've also been written up more times than I ever have in my entire working history since I have worked there. Actually, in the last four months. Ever since we got a new Executive Director.
Today I recieved my Final Written Notice. Joy, Joy, JOY!
It was only God Himself who sealed my mouth shut as I was informed of all the ways I was inadequate. Of all the ways in which I did everything wrong. Even when I was told to do these things by the ED herself and I did them, it was wrong. Things I had worked very hard on and accomplished great results with... I was wrong. Even things that I had nothing to do with... they were my fault too. Even someone else's laziness and ineptness.. yep, you guessed it... my fault.
They have given me until Feb. 1st to 'shape up' or I will be forced to go part time. Little do they know, I have no babysitter now and need to go part time immediately. I just was too stunned today to tell them.
The things I wanted to say to that woman. I wanted to just walk out. But, I was held firmly in my place and silent. I did manage to say two things. "I understand" and "I made the mistake of letting someone work upstairs and didn't go inspect when they said they had done what they were supposed to do. I take full responsability."
I saved that person's ass. But, mine is in a sling. I'm so Joyful! JOY-FULL !!!
Now, please understand that I am not exactly being sarcastic. Exactly. God and I had a very long venting session today as I was given the day to clean up 'my mess' with the store closed down. Mainly I was venting and He was soothing.
And God.. He understands my sarcasm. HE Himself has used it on occasion. I was just reading about Moses leading everyone out of Egypt and how God sent them food every day. They got sick of eating only one type of food and started whining for meat. And what did God do? He said "You want MEAT? I'll give you MEAT! You'll be so sick of MEAT it'll be coming out your EYEBALLS! You will never want MEAT again when I'm through with you!" And He sent them so many pheasants they could practically swim through them! And made them eat them. ROFL! I LOVE GOD!
ANYWAY, God kept bringing things to mind, as He always does if we listen hard enough. First off, He is re-arranging my life. What made me think that wouldn't involve my working situation. Because 1) He is teaching me to rely on and trust Him. I know that. and 2) I have been praying for Him to open up a way for me to stay home with my children but still manage financially.
Okay.... so maybe He has a plan here after all. Because I know I did not deserve that write-up or any of the other ones I have received in the last four months. Before they just made me angry. This one did too, but it also made me think.
And then the Joy started to come. And the Joy of the Lord is my Strength. So, I did not lose it. I just spent the day deep cleaning the store and talking/venting/listening to the Lord. And even though I have been hit very hard this week, I still have peace.
Could it be that I am growing in faith and perseverence? Yes, I am. Because I know the old me would have totally freaked out. Been wounded much more than I am at the moment and possibly plunged into depression.
As I look back on this morning, I remember God whispering in my spirit while the ED was reaming me out, "Why are you so surprised? I told you that trials would come. You KNOW that this is a war. You KNOW that the devil wants you. Did you think he would give up without a fight? Did you think he would not use everyone he has at his disposal? Lean on Me and WE will work this out for your good."
Okee-Dokie, God. You got it.
What types of trials are you going through right now that you need to look at a little differently in order to count them all joy?
I love you, daughter of mine.
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